So yesterday at Leadership retreat, while doing worship I felt like I got an image from God. I don’t really remember what the image was now, but somehow it turned into God saying he is the Never Ending Story! I feel as though I am leaving a season boredom. I am not sure why, but for the pas couple of months I have felt somewhat empty. Maybe it had something to do with discovering my future in China and not being able to go. Or maybe the fact that I am about to graduate, and this whole life I have loved, and that has helped me become who I am today is about to leave? Honestly it all scares me. So that has left me no choice to turn to God. And what a good decision that was right!
Anyway back at SALT, I made a promise to God to read my Bible every day and I mean every day. So except for once or twice where I just passed out because I was too tired, I have done it. Before this, I had also been having an empty dream life. I don’t know about you, but my dreams mean almost everything to me. They restore me while I sleep, they are my escape from real life, they are my creativity, they are my inspiration, they are my direct link to God. Without dreams, for some reason I don’t feel close to God. Is that strange? After making the promise, I decided that it would be best to started reading my Bible before I go to bed. I feel that reading my Bible, and then putting my self in a situation where God can speak to me without any interruption, is the best thing to do. Did that work you may be asking? And the answer is a resounding yes! My dreams started coming back (or as some would say, just to argue, that I was simply remembering them) Either way, they are back! And I am starting to feel closer to God everyday.
So back to the Never Ending Story, sometimes I question whether worshiping God for eternity is really that awesome. I just want to be honest about how I feel. I love praise and worship, but when I think about doing it for eternity, I question whether I would be capable of it. So when God told me that he was the Never Ending Story, it also told me that he is far from boring. He in and of himself is an adventure. Just being able to have a small grasp of the awesomeness and goodness that he is would probably take a million normal lifetimes. I don’t know, but him telling me that was just super reassuring.
In case you don’t know, I have decided to go and teach English in China in the next year or two for about two years. I feel like he was also speaking to me about thing. Not only is China going to be a new adventure for him and I to experience, but the time between then doesn’t have to be boring, and it is not going to be boring. I can feel him calling me onward to use this time to discover some of his mysteries. As my friend Jena was telling me, God is a mysterious God. I think he wants me to discover some of them.
I think I am done for now. Soon I will post an awesome dream I had the other night. I hope you will enjoy it as much I had having it! (I do want to apologize if these blog doesn’t flow, I always feel that I can’t write my thoughts very well because as I type about one thing, I immediately start thinking about another…)